Monday, December 10, 2007

"A man aint supposed to cry..."

At least that's what I hear.

I can't say really I was ever taught that a man isn't supposed to cry. If someone did it wasn't to the point that I believed them or even remember. If anything, while growing up, I believe that notion was more of a learned behavior. Learned, in the sense that I never seen a surrounding male figure shed tears. Well, I shouldn't say never. Whenever the loss of a loved one occurred there were plenty of tears to go around. Besides those unforgettable moments, I can't remember another instance where I've personally seen a grown man cry. But I've seen many instances where I wished the man would simply go ahead and cry and get it over with. Namely when it came to a woman.

Due to how we, as men, completely give ourselves to women unlike anything else in this world, it creates a situation where we hurt upon their caused pain. And this causes us to cry. Unless we fight tears, which I have seen many a man do. Just fight the tears while knowing damn well those fought tears are eating 'em up on the inside. It's sad to see a person not understand this, then it would be if they just broke down. See, you can't keep pain bottled up or else it will dangerously explode. And sometimes take you with it, as we have witnessed.

No, crying doesn't make a man less than a man. To be honest, I think it makes him more of a man. Men who hopelessly fall into the ignorant line of thought about how he will be perceived as being weak must understand that every human being which enters this cold world does so, in tears. And if you were one of the few born without crying, I'm almost certain that a few came rolling down your face once the good doctor laid hands on you. From that day forward, crying only shows you are human. Furthermore, show me a man who doesn't allow himself to cry when it comes to a woman and I will show you a man unable to truly love a woman.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should get up, run into the other room, slam doors and then cry. Now that would be some weak ish especially when there are other ways which offer release in a less noticeable and defiant manner. When it appears as if that woman has somehow managed to reach inside you with both of her cold hands and painfully rip your heart out ... don't sit there all stubborn talking about how "...oh, it aint nothing, it aint nothing."

Without causing a scene, just calmly stand up, grab your car keys and walk outside. Get into your car. Once inside, calmly roll all the windows up then slowly drive off. When your little brother runs up to the car (like he always seem to do when you are trying to dodge everyone) and annoyingly ask, "Where you going? Let me go with you!" Don't be mean. Don't ignore him. Just lie to him and say something like "...to the store, I'll bring you something back."

Once you get out of view, reach down and put the right song in the player. But don't turn the volume too high. Keep it at a medium, so you can hear yourself think. You will need to be able to think in order to cry the right tears. Once the right lyric connects with the right thought, it's over. Those tears will come shooting out. Don't hold back. Let 'em flow.

After every tear has fallen, turn around and go home. Once there, kindly proceed to slowly climb into the bed and experience one of the best good nights' sleep of your life. Do not call the woman. Just cover your head with the pillow, close your eyes and sleep. Trust me, you will feel much better when you awake. If for some reason you do not, then that only means you really, really loved that woman and you may need to repeat the crying over and over again until you can no longer cry. As you will.

As you can tell, I cry. And I'm never afraid to admit. There are times when I've cried my eyes out. As every man should. At least every now and then. Again, it only shows that you are human. It shows you are a real man with real feelings and real emotions. When I cry, I always tell the ones who may notice how I've been crying to not worry about me. I assure them I will be just fine.

Then I remind them how, "... if you don't see me cry then you should be worried."